hazyblur

The Classic Friend

2010-01-29T06:23:00.000-08:00

With the much awaited Ipad release and the every Apple fan going orgasmic and tweeting their way to ecstasy, I wondered why I didn’t feel that way. I get the whole mania, am part of it in some way, but nothing will change my world the way my first Ipod classic did seven years ago. 20 Gigs, the white solid body and supreme joy. It just felt so big back then.

It takes so much more than a single post to talk about how my Ipod is just part of my life. And its difficult to replace it with another. When the Ipod Touch was released in 2007, I was one of the first to lay my hands on it, bought two of them for the extremely cool design and touch – but I gave both away to my cousins. And that was only because I still had my Classic. Everyone said it came from a faulty batch and would only last 500 recharges. But it never died on me. It just kept giving me more music, and every phase in my life I can associate with the kind of music I listened to on it. It was my backup disk, my music when I drove to work every day and now my music in the long train commutes.

Never thought I could be sentimental about a thing, but this one is truly special.

Mumbai Madness

2010-01-26T11:31:00.000-08:00

I’m not really a fan of the Raghu Dixit Project although he seems to be making enough noise with his South Indian Anklets and oversized saffron sarong – but I couldn’t stop hearing his upbeat lament of urban hope - I'm in Mumbai and I'm waiting for a Miracle - on the local trains.

So well, yeah, I’m in Mumbai hanging on a local train with determined faces around me, a workforce that collectively travels tens and tens of kilometers across dilapidated but timeless crumbling balconies. Sometimes they clap together in religious rhythm; at others they forcibly offer fluorescent forms of sweet from a faraway (Virar or Karjat) temple that can be metabolized into a substance that will absolve you of all current hardships. My Muslim gums have never had a hard time chewing on Prasad from any temple that a friend has gone to. But, the prospect of having fearsome worshippers by day and gamblers by night offer me innocuous sweet through soiled hands is almost like being pissed drunk in a bar in Czech Republic and being asked by a huge sleeveless leather jacketed Czech (also pissed drunk - as we are both well err relieving the bladder buddy) about whether I support communism or despise it. And wanting a definite answer right there in the unfamiliar territory of a small restroom.

That was then, almost nine months ago in the peak of summer of ‘09 when getting onto a local train was like waging a war against a sea of sub-urban shoulder press and bidding goodbye too early in the day to a crisp shirt and the usual simple pleasure of an unnecessary but comforting abundance of deodorant. I like the way the deo vapors fill the room and make VH1 classics on the dusty tube sound so much better.

That was then, but now I almost brim with pride at conquering what 6 million people have – the Mumbai metro. I can walk into any station and be one with the system, the people – now my people, my system. I can quickly evaluate the benefits of traveling on a fast train versus a slow, I can wait on the overhead bridges and accurately estimate traffic patterns and indulge in extreme solitary geeky moments and smile to myself in the anonymity of India’s most rewarding city.
Until, I took it too far. Last week, I got onto the overhead bridge and could see the slow local to Churchgate pulls its way around the bend in the distance and I knew I had about 90 seconds to make a healthy and youthful sprint to the first class red striped compartment. You are on Mr. train driver, and I don’t cheat – I don’t cross tracks, I don’t board a moving train and I don’t travel on the foot board. I play it safe and I’m a good citizen.

I ran blindly in pursuit of the red striped compartment, an intelligent saving of ten whole minutes. With agile light footed steps I made my way through the crowds. (I love the play of words – I almost sound like a lean machine, I will stubbornly ignore the discriminating stamp across my gym card that labels me as latent obese. Almost like being slapped with a sentence for years of dark humor at the expense of friendly neighborhood belly). But, I digress. I believe I can still move. Unfortunately the train began to move but my adrenalin began to kick in, the pupils constrict in mad ambition, the arms feel like iron and the mind puts linear programming to shame. I perfectly gauge that I can still run and jump onto my compartment and the hours of clichéd movie climaxes are put to use with a firm no going back decision. I reach my red striped compartment running along the train and my eyes are focused on the floor of the train anticipating the final moment of victory. Surprisingly there isn’t anyone at the door – but that made it easier for me to hop on grabbing my bag and looking at the platform in immense relief and tumult.

At that very moment, I hear angry voices behind me and they aren’t just angry voices, they are all female voices. I turn around and my stomach churns in horror when I realize I have jumped onto the all ladies compartment by mistake. My red striped compartment was the next one. I face housewives, college teens, middle aged fierce women and I see no sympathy. I can still see the livid expressions on their faces. It was almost as if I was responsible for everything that went wrong in their lives and the only way in which I could turn about the world for them and save them from financial distress and bring marital harmony was to jump off the train. I looked for empathy but I only saw dissent. An outsider, a law breaker, a pervert – that’s what I felt like. Can’t I wait for the next station I thought, but a nudge from my closest virago made me make up my mind quickly.

Get off the compartment, jump off you asshole, who do you think you are?

Fuck.

My body mind and soul was being pushed to the brink of a cosmic seizure with the train gathering speed leaving only a few meters of platform before it pulled out of the station. I look at the speeding ground beneath my feet and my foul mouthed ninth standard physics teacher Ranga comes in front of my eyes. The two previous instances in my life I encountered a situation that involved jumping off something – it had always gone badly. At the age of nine I jumped off a running horse that had gone wild, but I managed to survive with minimal injuries and didn’t break my hip or back. At the age of eleven, I jumped off a really slow train going uphill in Ooty(almost the toy train variety) and I fell clumsily and rolled in muck while my cousin smoothly decelerated athletically with his fake ray bans still neatly settled on his nose. I haven’t gone back to horse riding or Ootacamund ever since. But that was then, before Ranga came into my life and instilled the ever important laws of motion. I could imagine him saying “Jump you fucker” only with a couple of extra r’s ringing in after the last word Tamlian style… fuckerrrrrrrrrrrr…. Yeah, that was my Physics teacher – he taught us Physics and the ineffable joys of fondly referring to each other using the most abusive but innovative terms in English, Kannada and Tamil.

I digress, but most of all this is happening too quickly - all in Nanoseconds while I bid Tata to my rather vocal passengers and the safety of the hot vada pav on the roadside only ten minutes ago. Be a man, jump off and risk your life. I jump off and felt my body riveting into a spasmodic dance barely managing to keep my balance running alongside the train. The train leaves me and I kneel to catch my breath. My heart pounds hard like never before and I look up for the faintest form of approval from the people on the train or those who are waiting for the next one. Not a soul notices one of the most historic yet plain stupid moments of my life. I stand up in gratitude and settle down to let the foolishness kick in. I take the next train and want to share the story immediately. I call R and narrate the entire sequence of events to her hoping to hear some subtle form of “My hero” or something to that effect. I called at a bad time.
Why didn’t you wait for the next station? I’ll call you back. I realized the pointlessness in narrating such an incident after your pulse has slowed back to normal. She knew too easily and too quickly that I was perfectly alright.

However, I felt the need for the world to know. That I have found method in the religious fervor, the thousands of gods that cover millions of screensavers on phones and laptops, the prayers and the chants on every Mumbai local, and the silent miracles that keep the city on its feet. And Raghu Dixit actually makes sense with his song Waiting for a miracle – so much so – that I can listen to his soulful wail in “No Man will ever Love you Like I do”.

For those, who have got this far ... I finished my MBA at ISB Hyderabad, moved to Mumbai and work for a Big Pharma firm.

More Mumbai Mania to follow.

Current Music – Emancipator
Current Mood – Relaxed.
Current Location – Bangalore

The next step

2008-04-11T10:11:00.000-07:00

Dear fellow bloggers/ applicants/ students and readers,

I start school tomorrow at the Indian School of Business at Hyderabad and I'm excited. The last two weeks have been eventful and I never anticipated that my last day at work would be so hard. I found it difficult to say goodbye to friends who stayed up with me night after night developing software and enduring my late night humor. I look forward to a new beginning, new challenges and new friends. I will definitely keep my blog updated even if it spills onto non MBA related posts. My journey to the MBA has been incredible, I'v met so many people who have been helpful and friendly. I'v learned more about myself(stop cringing at this line) and realized what matters most to me and why I'm investing so much time and money on this next step. I wish each of you the very best at b-school or with your applications. I also feel like sharing snippets of my journey before I get buried into pre-terms and accounting. As you might be aware, I didn't make it to a US b-school, but I tried really hard. And, even though I might not be in a position to give anyone advice about the GMAT or essays or interviews, I'd like to share what I went through as a young Indian applicant and how I tried to create compelling applications for top business schools. I'd also like to say thank you to all the bloggers who have shared their experiences and answered all of my questions(without having said 'Read the website'). I probably am one of the first to start school so early, and I'll be glad to give each of you previews and quick snapshots from hell.

Back in Action

2008-03-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

Well, going out tonight did me a whole lot of good - its 4 a.m and I'm feeling rather pleased at myself. My friends took me out to my favorite pub here, and threepointone gave me the first book of the Watchmen series signed by Alan Moore(gulp!!) himself. I'm almost feeling like the coolest applicant ever, after an entertaining performance at the karoake night and the sudden elevated stardom by killing a few inhibitions.

I'v barely got two weeks to start school at ISB, and its high time I get into 'back to school' mode.

No from Chicago

2008-03-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

Its been quite a ride.

Heading for a friend's surprise party. Should able to say more when I'm back.

Much needed update

2008-03-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

I'm still here, and waiting out the wait of my life.

Anjuna and Fresh Goals

2008-03-11T05:12:00.000-07:00

Goa. The Sky Grows Big Again. Sunset at Anjuna Beach.

Feedback session from Cornell tomorrow. Not sure what to say or expect. No other updates. And yes, the weekend felt really good, some of you should cut yourself from the internet for a week.

My GSB Interview Experience

2008-02-25T20:16:00.000-08:00

I chose to interview at a hub location in India with an associate director of admissions who was extremely friendly and made me feel very comfortable right from the beginning.

My question set:

- Run me through your resume.

- What brings you to an MBA?

- What brings you to Chicago?

- What are you most proud of?

- What is the biggest challenge you faced at work?

- What is the biggest challenge you think you will face at the GSB?

- How will you contribute to and engage in the GSB community ?

- Is there anything you would like to ask me?

- Is there anything more you would like to add?

Thank you and we'll let you know on March 26th, don't bite your fingers or plunge into manic psychosis - its just four weeks away. A classic adCom interview, quite similar to the one I had with Kellogg. The interviewer posed questions and never interrupted me, just gave me all the time in the world to finish before she moved to the next one. (Quite unlike the alum interviews). It was a forty minute discussion.

P.S. I didn't do all that well in predicting these questions in my earlier post. But I got five of them right.

Wharton says No.

2008-02-24T10:48:00.000-08:00

Its hard to just say "I got dinged", when you dream so much and give that dream all you can possibly give. I'm glad I gave it my best shot at a time when I was definite about the MBA. I just got back after my GSB interview, will talk about it soon.

Waitlist Drop dead dates

2008-02-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

Most waitlisted applicants must be allowed to specify a drop dead date to the school. If they receive an admit before that date then they will attend. If not, then they should be taken off the waitlist by sending them a ding. This will help applicants make decisions more easily, and help schools in being sure that the candidate will attend if admitted.

Predicting Chicago GSB Interview Questions

2008-02-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

I'm inclined to see if I could make a list of ten questions that I'd be asked in my interview. When I'm back I'll post the real questions, and I'm hoping that I get a few of them right.

- Why did you choose your undergraduate degree?

- Tell us about yourself/ run me through your resume?

- Why do you want to do an MBA?

- Why did you choose GSB?

- Which other schools did you apply to? Why X and why Y?

- How would your colleagues describe you? Strengths / weaknesses / setbacks.

- How will you contribute to GSB?

- Why do you plan to pursue X career given your Y profile?

- Is there anything you would like to ask us?

- Why should we admit you?

Mid week crisis

2008-02-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

Late night and early morning meetings at work. Desperately trying to meet deadlines this week to take off two days for my travel plans this weekend. Train tickets waitlisted(can you believe that!!!). Some respite with India winning today's cricket match. Fee deposit playing on my mind. Still clawing for a W interview call with two days to go. Come on W, you'v got to give my application another read, a lot of blood sweat and tears went into it.

Stay cool!!!

Thoughts on the Indian School of Business

2008-02-18T20:47:00.000-08:00

I'v been reading up on the school and more about the students. I commend the student community for maintaining journals and keeping prospective students abreast with developments at the school and the experience. Personally, I derive an impression of a school based on reasonable interaction with current students and alumni. I'm quite sure by now a lot of us know about ISB's ranking and how it has created a unique brand for itself in just over six years - which is an outstanding achievement.

However, I seem to be a little disturbed by this one alarming pattern. Almost every student blogger this year speaks about "Please be realistic in your expectations at ISB". I'v never come across this in my unimaginable school surfing career. I dug deeper into this outburst or sudden profound wisdom and have come up with a reasonable explanation.

I spoke to a current student and asked him about his experience at ISB. He stopped short and said "Ask me next week, when the placement week is over". The career placement week at ISB is undoubtedly the single most important part of the one year experience. By Indian standards, the MBA at ISB is the most expensive path to an MBA. The increasing average compensation received by graduates is by far the most appealing factor about the school.

The career placement week sees some of the best companies draw into campus offering fantastic job profiles and great packages to lure the best business talent in the country. However, not every student makes it to his/her dream job and will be visibly disappointed. Many students build anxiety as each day of the placement season passes, and some of them finally bite the bullet by signing an offer they might not have ideally wanted. This is probably based on dreaming too big, and current students in their blogs carefully say that one must base one's expectations on one's past profile.

I'v been through a typical placement month in engineering college, understand the process am well aware of the student's emotions that flare as offers and rejects are equally doled out. However, that the ISB experience seems to be ridiculously diluted by basing it almost solely on the job you get on campus is a mildly disturbing fact. An alum from the school who works in my organization vouches for this mindset. He said that the job you carry forth out of there determines your career ahead and indirectly forms the most part of what your experience was at the school/ what you get out of it. Is this typical of one year programs that seem to unduly focus on the job ahead? I really wish students wouldn't use the term 'realistic expectations' so much. It feels as though most students expect a lot more from the school. But the school and the system is as good as it gets in India. And I'm unsettled by this.

The Chicago GSB Interview Prep Weekend

2008-02-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

I resolved not to go out anywhere this weekend and try and maintain uncommon focus on the task at hand - the gsb interview. But, staying home didn't really help. I watched four foreign flicks( The Valet, Paris je t'aime , Canandiru and 36) , tore myself away from the widescreen after watching five episodes of Entourage and finally began to build focus by playing the Age of Empires for a continuous three hours. Sheesh!!! The India Australia cricket match was another obvious distraction, and after India lost miserably the "Sunday evening gloom" began to set in as Skid Row's lyrics played in my head "Is it all just wasted time , Can you look at yourself, When you think of what, You left behind". yeah yeah.. I'v been through the Sunday evening worthless feeling after vegetating in front of a sports channel feeling elevated and suddenly by the end of the day feeling that I'm going to be as Blue as Blue can be the next day.

Nonetheless, I did manage to put in a few hours thinking about my interview and reading up on other's experiences. I also bought the Clear Admit guide more out of curiosity than necessity, and the guide made me realize that there is no way I can be completely prepared. I also found out that in the hub interview in Delhi next week, I'd be facing two members from the AdCom staff and one alum - which more or less corners the poor applicant from all angles. One of my concerns that Chicago GSB loves to find out which other schools the applicant has applied in an attempt to understand the applicant's goals and validate reasonable and clear thinking. Will you give the poor applicant a break? Have you dealt with two wait lists? To top it all, take a look at my application status and the colleges I'v applied to. I'm going to have a hard time explaining my choices, given that I applied to a few of them with sparks of intuition and not with the ideal rational mindset. I also believe that Chicago tries to understand the applicant a lot more than most schools and this goes beyond the power point question. One of the questions an applicant was asked "Chicago GSB is known for its high ranking , fantastic academic program, famous faculty and one of the best finance schools in the world. - Apart from this what makes you apply to the school". These sort of questions make me uneasy. Honestly, I don't want to go to GSB only because they organize exotic Random Walks and you have a great time meeting diverse people and exchanging experiences or because I think that X professor's class would be the ultimate experience in my academic career.(I said 'only because') . My reasons for choosing GSB aren't earth shattering and don't require enormous research. Having said that, I'm apprehensive if my reasons are the right reasons or would appeal to the interviewers. Only because I think this way and question almost all my thoughts makes me a good fit for GSB, as the school and students question and challenge every idea and thought in their path to the crystal clear stand about despising 'status quo'. That stands, only if what they say is true to a large extent. Okay I'm being a pain now, so I'll stop.

This weekend was not all bad. I really can't fathom why I had deprived myself of indulging in foreign language films for so long. I'v heard some good things about "Sassy Girl" which is next in line.(Yes, its apparently a movie). I was surprised to get a phone call from G my senior from college , and it turned out that he applied to ten schools in the US with an insane GMAT score. We worked together for the editorial board in college and it was quite a blast. He got into UNC with a some significant $ help, quit his job and is dabbling with an internship for a while. We spoke about the whole application experience and had so much in common about what we wanted out of an MBA or where we wanted to go. More talk on the common Columbia reject and a potential mock interview with him, but I realized he'd take the word 'mock' too far and decided against it.

I look forward to the Chicago interview, because I have some interesting travel lined up and will make the most of the journey up North. Will post some pictures once I'm back. I'm beginning to wonder why I'm doing all of this, when I can quit my job today and join the ISB class of 09 in deciding which laptop I should buy. The admitted applicants to ISB have met in various cities in India and are gung-ho over the recently concluded and immensely successful career placement week at ISB. They also have the ISB class of 09 collaborative blog up and running. What I like about ISB is that it is going to be a very predictable experience for me. What I like about the US MBA is the unpredictable and limitless possibilities ahead - although that might not be what I desire entirely. (yes, paige - if you read this - I know what you are thinking. I should be making my choices and not have someone else do them for me. I'm just emptying my muddled mind, not more.)

I'd also want to add how much it means to someone like me when a fellow blogger/applicant and now current student replies to a query immediately and takes time to help bring in clarity by sharing his experiences. Thank you Forrest.

ISB Deposit Made

2008-02-16T01:42:00.001-08:00

Savings down by $5000.
ISB Offer accepted.
Official Transcripts sent to Chicago GSB.
Lazy Saturday afternoon, logging off to watch The Valet before I begin to dig deep into the GSB website this weekend.
School visit posts coming up soon.

Cornell Interview

2008-02-15T01:53:00.001-08:00

I scheduled my interview mid December last year with an alum in Bangalore. We met in his office and I didn’t dare wear a suit because I made sure I didn’t feel out of place with yuppy developers in t shirts in his office. He broke the ice by explaining the role of an interviewer in the admissions process and said he didn’t have access to any of my essays and didn’t know my story. This helped me forget about the Cornell essays and stop fighting other school essays from consuming my already wired head. We spent some time talking about my current role and my career progress. Why MBA, goals questions followed. All of a sudden he said to me

“This is all great, but I want to know who you really are, what you do for fun, what you enjoy most in life, what makes you happy”. I was glad he asked this question, and I think I was made a sincere attempt at answering the broad question. He slowly brought the discussion back to why I was applying to Cornell in particular and probed about other schools. We ended by discussing about his job and his MBA experience at Cornell. I enjoyed the interview and it turned out to be a very informal conversation.

App Status: Still on the waitlist. I had sent in a note with details about my recent promotion at work. My feedback session was scheduled for Feb 13, but someone from the office wrote in saying that I would have to re schedule my session.

My first ISB visit

2008-02-14T05:35:00.000-08:00

I was looking through my personal blog and this excerpt made me smile. It was written more than three years ago.

We stopped by at ISB(Indian School of Business) and looked around the campus for a while. Mighty mighty campus. One can’t help feeling important walking down state-of-the art corridors with pictures of the Birlas, Ambanis, Murthys, Tatas and other important looking tycoons.The library has an interesting design with a an elliptic walkway that starts on the ground floor and extends to the fourth, with small exits at each floor. I never felt it was a college because everything was new, everything was clean, everybody was courteous, and every room you went to was air-conditioned.

I can't believe I'd use phrases like 'important looking tycoons' and 'state of the art corridors' also and be fascinated at an elliptical walkway. Back then I had no clue I'd apply for an MBA and was only comparing the rather rough living conditions in engineering school with the comfortable lifestyle at ISB. Its a funny feeling to have got in now and been so naive about it sometime back.

Gameplan

2008-02-13T08:28:00.001-08:00

I'v been thinking quite hard about how I should deal with my current application status. I have to pay up the deposit at ISB by Feb 27 and I still wouldn't have heard back from Chicago(after interviewing) or Kellogg and Cornell(wait lists). I'm quite clear about attending ISB if I don't get into either Wharton, Kellogg or Chicago. And that encourages me to cough up quite a huge amount from my savings for the ISB deposit. Sounds reasonable so far?

This morning I spoke to the associate Dean at the Indian School of Business. I was pleasantly surprised at candid conversation we had about the ISB experience. The professor went out of his way and put my options into perspective given my goals post MBA. I have visited the school twice and have spoken to current students , alums and professors. ISB is a great fit for me and I can see myself enjoying the course.

The program at ISB starts April 12 which is just two months away and leaves me with hardly any time to quit my job and gear up for B school. I had a brief chat with my new manager at work(who has been oblivious to all my academic pursuits) and sounded him about my admit and that I might be leaving in a month's time. All of a sudden a lot seems to have changed. I can't believe I could be in school in less than two months.

I'm also considering withdrawing from Cornell and Darden after really thinking about why I want an MBA and where I would want to go.

Feel like throwing rocks? Go ahead, I'd be glad to hear you out.

Admitted at Indian School of Business

2008-02-12T01:52:00.000-08:00

I'm in. I'm in a spot though with my hallowed wait list situation. I'v also been invited to interview with Chiacgo GSB later this month. I'll be soon facing the fee deposit woes($5000). But, I'm quite kicked to work right now !!!

Waitlist Magnestism, Intimidating Interviews and complex forms

2008-01-11T20:18:00.000-08:00

Cornell has put me on its waitlist. For some odd reason, I never anticipated the "waitlist" waiting period in my application process, and it can be a terribly mixed up feeling. The waitlist primarily serves as a competent/ talented applicant pool to round off the class after Round1/2/3 admits choose to drop out. I also hear that chances of breaking the waitlist are bleak for international applicants(not impossible though) . I'm not particularly looking to do much for Cornell because I already sent in a supplement to my application last week, and won't have too much to add in the next three months except that I'v learned to become calm and confident through the anxious wait. But, I will send in a note to Kellogg soon.

My Indian School of Business Interview:

ISB has a unique application process.I heard there would be a panel of three interviewing me. As I entered, I was given a sheet of paper and was asked to write a short essay of 100 words on the word "spontaneous". I sat down and wrote quite a nice creative piece. I was called to the interview room and introduced myself to an adCom member, a senior member of the faculty, and a senior alum of the school. The adCom member flipped through my printed application and asked me about my job and what I do in my free time. I was very direct in answering questions. The other two members seemed uninterested in my candidature. I found out that it was their last interview for the day, but I was intimidated by their indifference and wasn't able to bring them to accept my ideas/ goals. The adCom member took me through the "Why MBA question" which formed the main part of the interview. He probed about my short term goals and which industry I would choose/ where I would want to work.

The interview ended abruptly when the adCom member asked the other two panelists if they had any questions and they shook their heads in apparent dissent. "Do you have any questions", the professor asked me in his gruff voice. I politely said I had no questions(which could be a big mistake, in retrospect) and shook hands with the three of them and left the stiff air in the room behind. My interview lasted barely fifteen minutes and although it was by no means a "stress" interview, I was uncomfortable and I think it showed. It was a good experience to have a resolute and formidable panel, but I didn't walk out with a good feeling. I didn't connect to the interviewers unlike my Cornell experience. I can't say I blew my interview, but I didn't nail it either.

McCombs application: This was supposed to be my last application. I found out recently that the McCombs app requires foreign students to show financial independence by filling up a form that will be used in processing the I-20. I can't imagine what the hurry is all about. And I'm really not up to making the effort of showing I can afford my first year right now. Any international McCombs applicants out there? And to add to the mess, this is a rolling admission.

I guess I'm going to take a break from all of this for a while. I'm beginning to despise the word 'goals' and feel bad that the simple joy and mysticism in aimlessness is completely lost. I might put up a few non MBA related posts. For starters, eM, B, A is a bad chord progression to play on a well tuned guitar. (that's e minor, but what the hell).

Chicago Submitted

2008-01-09T15:08:00.000-08:00

Barely made it with ten minutes to spare.
Thank you threepointone(for staying up with me) and anonymous-3(for the quick response to my mail).
Phew!!!!

My ISB interview is tomorrow. I need some sleep.

Waitlisted at Kellogg

2008-01-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

At least they didn't break my heart in one shot. I'v had little sleep last night and couldn't bring myself to work yesterday. My unplanned Chicago application is turning out to be harder than I thought with mounting deadlines in office(well I'v mounted them by not working too hard last week). I'm wondering if I should pull out instead of submitting a hazy half baked application.
Although I used to avoid forums when I started off, I enjoyed waiting along with others on the BW forum.

And congratulations to all those who made it to Kellogg on the last day.

My boring Sunday

2008-01-06T06:49:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and switched on the television set and tuned into to the India Australia cricket match. My heart sank as I saw India lose and I felt frustrated at some bad umpiring decisions. I knew it would be a dull day – it always happens when India loses a match. I trudged along with drooping shoulders reminiscing about the rare Indian victories and the subsequent tumult within my friends circle.

I picked the worst possible day to attempt the Powerpoint presentation question for Chicago GSB. My strategy was to think for a while before I begin. My thoughts began to saunter while I comfortably stared at the pleasing but empty canvas on the screen. I’m usually raring to go when it comes to ppt’s or photoshop related tasks, but this time the creative juices in my veins obstinately formed a big clot, and my hands became stiff. To cut the story short – nothing. Not much came out of my first attempt. Why? Every idea seemed too childish, too overdone or just too ‘not unique’. Yes, I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way, yes I know I should be myself. But I am being myself. The real I within me stops me from making a presentation unless it’s fairly well thought out and at the same time brings about instant delight to the reader. My four slides have content, but need a lot of work and revisions.

I moved onto the first essay question:

Why are you pursuing an MBA at this point in your career? Describe your personal and professional goals and the role an MBA from the University of Chicago GSB plays in your plans to reach these goals. (1500 word maximum) .

I did manage to complete a draft of the essay. I came across a nice document about the MBA personal statement and it helped me validate my essay on several points.

I stepped out after lunch, and I’v not been feeling good about submitting this application. There seems to be no brilliance, no chutzpah as yet. Hopefully things might change in a day or two.

Other minor update: http://hazyblur.com is already taken. Handcrafted wines from South Australia. Established in 1998. But my nickname happened in the mid nineties. Grumble grumble, grrr !!!!

Kellogg Interview

2008-01-05T14:22:00.001-08:00

I had a telephonic interview on Nov 29 last year, and it might not be too late to write a short note about it. Before my interview, I saw a pattern of questions being asked to other applicants over the phone. I was pretty sure (you might know by know that my gut feelings are never on target) that my first question would be “Please run me through your resume” and I prepared for it relentlessly in front of my mirror. Even though my interviewer would only be hearing my voice, I had to rehearse before the mirror after being inspired by my favorite mba blogger Sorebrek. If you haven’t read his Kellogg interview post, you should do so. Go here.

It was 10 in the night and I sat patiently waiting for the phone to ring. The phone rang, I picked up and was in complete control. I smiled to myself before the first question was thrown at me.

“Why did you choose engineering as your undergraduate degree”?

“ I work at ….” WHAAT.

Slow down, your not supposed to ask me that. Why are you worried about why I chose my undergraduate degree? that was a long time ago, I was young and impressionable. I can’t even remember why I chose to take on an overrated degree, although I did have a great time and come out in one piece. Well there must have been a strong reason, but so much has happened since then, I can’t remember now. Can't you ask me about how I did so well in all my semesters!!!!! Panic panic panic, gulp gulp gulp…

Honestly, I can’t recollect the words that came out of my mouth. But I do know that I live in a land of superstition where everything must start off on a good note. If the start isn’t good then you might as well forget about the deal and go to sleep, and make sure you wake up in the direction of the rising sun and feel the strong rays suddenly giving you a life of purpose and fulfillment. And superstition plays on the subconscious, and the subconscious can at times turn a person in a quivering stuttering fool. Luckily, the subconscious guy cooled off - five minutes into the interview.

The first question threw me off, but I became more spontaneous and forgot about the answers I had dinned into my brain cells. The next set of questions were quite standard about goals and ‘why MBA’. The rest of the interview went off without any major hiccups; although in retrospect I feel I should have been more specific about why ‘x’ career after my mba.

My question set.

Why did you choose engineering as your undergraduate degree? (My answer was close to complete nonsense – but hey first interview, first question, give the poor guy a chance).

Why MBA? Why Kellogg? (recover, regain control, relax).

What would your team mates say is your biggest weakness and strength? (grin ear to ear)

Which clubs do you see yourself joining in Kellogg? (named two clubs).

What unique qualities do you bring to Kellogg? (strongest part of the interview)

In your job interview post MBA how will you substantiate a career switch?

I began to wonder if the interviewer asked me this question because she felt my goals weren’t strong enough. I felt this was the weakest part of my interview. I was trapped because I said that my MBA would prepare me for such a switch in the future. She probably wanted to know what prompted me to think along the lines of such a career, who I spoke with in the recent past, or what kind of experiences I had at work that pushed me in such a direction. My answer was more about how I would bridge gaps to qualify for such a position and how an MBA would get me there. Can’t really say I misfired, but just an after thought.

My interviewer finished and asked if I had any questions. I asked her “Why she chose Kellogg”? (in a sincere attempt to understand more about the school and student body).

It turned out that she wasn’t a current student and was the assistant director of admissions, and apologized for not having introduced herself completely before the interview. I cursed my senior from college who was dead sure that a current student would call me.

Bang your head on the wall, she won’t hear the thud.

I apologized and quickly ended the interview. The mistake seemed less detrimental after she wished me best of luck with the rest of the admission process. All in all, it wasn’t a bad interview considering I have a reputation for wearing my foot in my mouth.

Thoughts on Why Kellogg: Contrary to many applicants who immediately jump into specifics of the school such as courses, professors or exchange programs that appeal to them, I feel the best way to approach such a question is to talk about the principles of education that set K apart from other schools. I’d like to validate this approach with your thoughts. Even though it might be obvious to the interviewer, it does impact one’s decision in applying to Kellogg. Doesn’t it?

My usual post ending minor update: The first Hard Rock Café opens up in my city. My favorite coffee shop shuts down, to make room for Hard Rock Café. I’m hoping I won’t feel bad.

I’m back!!!!

2008-01-05T05:22:00.000-08:00

I’v been away quite long, and a lot has changed since my last post. I got a reject from Columbia more than two weeks back and that hurt a little. I was quite confident my application would see some interview notes, but it didn’t work out that way. Not to forget the studio apartment in the middle of Manhattan that I’d imagined with a refrigerator full of Red Bull cans.

I’v learned important lessons over the past three months, and I’m glad I spread my apps over two rounds. I got over the disappointment and tried to focus on what might have gone wrong. The downside is that the journey is turning out to be a long and tiring one. The positive side is that I might grow up to be a little less idealistic.

I’d want to thank all the applicants who post useful notes on BW and other forums and pulling me through so small but confusing details in application forms. I’d never imagined formatting would be such a time consuming process, but I’v become quite good at it by now. I will want to go into details about each school that I applied to and the two interviews (Kellogg and Cornell) by posting more often and revive the haze.

Other minor update:
Kellogg has made some of our lives quite miserable by making us wait until the last day (Jan 7) for a decision. A survivors list is being compiled here . Most of us seem to have given up hope and consider ourselves to be in “maybe/maybe not” pool of applicants, but still hanging onto a thread.

Congratulations to all Round 1 admitted applicants, and best of luck to everyone waiting.

Columbia visit

2007-10-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

I visited CBS on 24th September - the day the student community thronged the plaza and united against Ahmedinijad. I was fortunate to be allowed inside amidst high security - after I convinced the guards I had an appointment with the office of admissions. I was amazed to find such a vibrant student community gathered in the plaza - all in black T- shirts . They would take turns and make speeches and eagerly express their views and speak to the press. I stood for a while among students and listened to some of the speeches and learned that each of them emphasized on freedom of expression and unity within the community.
I walked around the campus and the buildings stood tall with broad pillars and wide stairs leading to the entrance. I reached the MBA block - Uris Hall and surprisingly had no questions when I met Kate Mannering at the Office of admissions.

Yes - I'm applying this year - in R1, Yes - I'v been to every page in the website, Yes - I;v been in touch with students. Can I sit through a few classes? Sure, just sign up on the sheet and proceed to the class of your choice. Really? Any class? Wow.

I attended the Behavioral Economics class that lasted two hours and was divided into a lecture series and a sample case study. The class dealt with how campaigns and offers for consumer goods must be planned bearing in mind the psychological behavior of customers. For instance, I Tunes launched the $0.99 per song Music Store that had music fans buying albums simply because in their minds that 99 cents didn't seem significant at all. However, over a year it does sum up to quite a figure for an average buyer. The case was based on a promotion for customers and students were asked to analyze whether the same promotion should be continued the following year. I remained unusually quiet and hid myself from the direct cone of vision of the professor in case he wanted an outsider's perspective on the case at hand. My two key observations were - 1. There were more girls than boys in the class. 2. I could understand every concept explained - no jargons. Very simple teaching. I'm not sure if that is something to look forward to or not, but I had a nice time listening and making constant mental notes.

I proceeded for lunch with a Korean student who I had got in touch with. He was exceptionally nice to me and we spoke at length about my background, how I would fit in, the student body, international students, famous courses and professors. I returned to the admissions office thanked the officers there and prepared to leave as I had a flight to catch soon. I left the campus wondering I would be seen on National television walking by one of the many cameras that had been setup for the rally. Its an unbelievable feeling to walk out of those gates and look up into the skies of Manhattan. I wait to hear from my dream school. You win some , you lose some. But my heart lies in New York City.

P.S. Photo credit - Murad Oomer - Columbia University, Class of 2006.

Two applications submitted

2007-10-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Status:
Columbia - Submitted. Under Review.
Kellogg - Submitted. Interview Waived.

I have submitted Columbia and Kellogg in round 1. Unfortunately, I missed out completely on Wharton and Stanford. My next target is MIT, Sloan on Oct 3oth.

My application process was completely thrown out of gear because of a month long visit to San Fransisco. I wasn't able to work on any of the applications out there, but I did get to visit Stanford and Haas in the Valley. I flew down to NYC over a weekend and visited Columbia and NYU Stern.

Over the last two weeks, I'v been grappling with gluing my apps together and barely managing the two deadlines. I am working on my MIT essays now and am planning to apply to Haas as well. Also, hope to become part of the applicant blog fraternity. I was looking forward to a Kellogg interview invite, but its been waived, perhaps because there are too many applicants in R1 from my part of the world. Nonetheless, I wait to hear from Columbia next.

Overwhelmed with advice

2007-08-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

While I was writing code today, I realized that I have been stuck with one annoying issue for the last two days. And when i finally solved it about an hour ago, I understood that it didn't demand too much of effort. Why did I take so long then? The answer is simple - not concentrating on the problem at hand. I was busy googling(if there is such a term) the answer and reading up all the dev forums in the world that i could lay my mouse and eyes on. I was only bothered about how others - who had faced this problem- went about solving it. When none of it helped and I finally put my mind to all possible alternatives and one of the solutions worked.

This made me think about my approach to applications(the college apps, not the ones that pay for my salary). I have spent way too much time reading successful applicant's strategies - exhaustive research, specific goals , confidence , honesty, having ten people review your essays after you have reviewed it a thousand times yourself, speaking to almost every person who knows about an MBA abroad, introspect till you lose yourself - and I would never attempt any of these simply because I was not up to the task. I would only read on and read more ideas and thoughts. None of what I do seems to match up.

Today I felt I need to stop - there is no end to seeking other people's opinions. There is no possible checklist that can be followed to be successful - some make it , some don't - it doesn't mean that those who didn't cut it followed wrong advice. When one begins to ruminate on the how to do something for too long, one never gets down to achieving what one started out to.

MBA advice can be overwhelming, conflicting and never ending. I need someone to pull me away from it all, before I become someone else.

- I will try and compile a mail to my second recommender today. My first was written in a rush and was too long. There was a lot of repetition of ideas. I will try and be specific this time around.

- As much as i love Friday because it leads to two very different days of the week, I despise Fri day for the status reports that I need to compile. Needless to say, I'm behind the project plan, and spend most of the day writing innovative details substantiating the sleep in the plan, and anticipating even more innovative ways to solve the innovative details that I speak of. bah!

Nonetheless, its time for action not for contemplation- Hang on, no matter how corny and unbecoming of me this line sounds - I have no qualms to say it.

One more blur cleared from the haze.

Why does the "Why" seem so hard

2007-08-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

I sent out the CBS recommendation requests and had a chat with one of my senior colleagues who has obliged to write about me. We spoke at length about various aspects of a B school, and then he popped the question "Why do you want to do an MBA"? It was either that I wasn't prepared for an interview or I assumed that he would just know why I wanted to invest an astronomical amount of money on the degree.

"Umm, well, I want to get into ....., and then I want to get into ..... ", I try to appear confident and well prepared.

" How do you explain the gaps in domain expertise to get into such a role? Why would they prefer you over other candidates who are already in the same domain as you would like to see yourself post MBA? Why do you want to be a career switcher when you can capitalize on the industry you come from, given the many forms of management roles it requires?"

Believe me, these aren't question one needs to hear when speaking to a recommender and trying earnestly to throw subtle hints that he commend you and not completely assess you candidly. I knew the answers, but just didn't know how to put them across. Its amazing how cross questioning can reveal how weak your argument really is. Hopefully, I will be able to do better in my essays. Fortunately the conversation turned into a discussion and I was able to express all I intended to.

I am apprehensive to speak with my second recommender who has been my supervisor for over two years. I can't really speak of anything he already doesn't know and he values time(mostly his own) a lot more than most people do. Even my email needs to be crisp and to the point. Will work on that today and send it out asap.

I have been corresponding with a few students from CBS, who have been quite helpful and also convey that they appreciate questions that can't be answered by browsing through their rather comprehensive website. Hence, my questions to them have changed and require an opinion rather than a fact.

Instead of saying "Is CBS highly ranked in Real Estate?" I would ask

" Given my profile and interest would you recommend the courses in Real Estate? Have you taken any? what did you feel about them? "

Its all about how you say it - not what you say.

After repeated failed attempts to put myself on the coveted Hella's list, I resign myself to the fact that not too many will know about Hazyblur and how the haze plans to clear the blur in his life.
Boo! ( hoo!).

And for those who do, you and I know what it feels like to be an "applicant".

The Laptop Saturday

2007-08-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

Minor updates:

- I have started working on my applications.

- Spent the whole of a beautiful Saturday in front of my wide screen. No, not the Plasma TV.

- Decided to apply to Columbia- ED. No more discussion.

- Its incredibly hard to talk about myself, even harder to put it down on paper.

- I thank every student/ applicant who responds to my emails - its a great feeling.

- Somehow I seem to be learning a lot about myself lately, and it feels strange to get to know yourself.

- I'm working on the CBS application and the Recommendation requests haven't yet been sent. I have set a rather ambitious deadline - hope to meet it.

- I'v taken a short break from the harrowing remaining school selection process. Yes, I know I ought to be sure by now. Will happen.

- I will update this space more often, as and when significant milestones are reached.

For now, heads down, think hard, write more and most important - relax.

later.

To ED or not

2007-07-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

Columbia’s Early Decision Policy has put me in a sticky situation. I’m unable to decide whether to go with the ED or not. In the ED round 40% of the students are accepted, the downside being that applicants need to sign an ethical agreement stating that they will pay a fee of $5000 and also withdraw all other applications. I know that some people forfeit the amount and join another school, if admitted in ED. Some people don’t even pay the amount and cite a string of personal/professional reasons to drop out of Columbia(if admitted into a more preferred school).

Going with ED would be a gamble. Getting out of ED policy would be controversial and repercussions that might follow are largely unknown. So here I stand, inching close towards deadlines and essay topics mounting, vacillating and being indecisive. Nonetheless, I need to nail this decision in place and begin drafting essays. I need to be able to affirm that Columbia will be my first choice. What attracts me to Columbia is the city, the reputation, and the first hand info I have about the university from friends. Although the Round 2 in Columbia is based on Rolling admissions, the apps are pulled out only after Jan.

Excerpt from BW thread:
Yes, the rolling process still applies to regular decision. However, any regular decision applications submitted prior to January 10th will be placed on a shelf in date order. After January 10th, they will be pulled off of the shelf, again in date order. So, anyone who applies for regular decision prior to January 10th has their 12-week period begin on January 10th. The advantage to doing this is that you still have the advantage of being evaluated before anyone who submits later.

Wharton and Stanford essays are out. Microsoft word, the nightmare begins. Why MBA, goals - short term and long term. Career switch or not. Is my experience in line with the goals , and does all of this really warrant the need for an MBA. Introspection - lots of it happening!!!

And, all the best to fellow applicants....

This is the part that never ends

2007-07-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

I'v always wondered how one can zero onto the list of schools to apply to. In my case, its seems exceedingly hard to do so. Each time I pick the 5 hallowed names, it seems like this is the most crucial part of starting the entire application process. There are always so many factors that go into drawing up this list, and yet at the same time there are those unknown factors such as luck/destiny that continue to haunt me. I'm not sure if fellow applicants feel this way. I guess this journey is all about grappling with one's goals and reasons to do an MBA.
Nevertheless, I'v got to focus on my first application - Columbia ED. This decision was a hard one given the fact that there is a formidable and binding statement to sign when applying. I was always skeptical about putting myself in a sticky situation. My cousin completed his Masters in architecture at Columbia last year, and my friend from school did his masters in Financial Engg from Columbia too. I'm totally inspired by them to attend Columbia.They put me onto some of their friends from Columbia GSB and all of them won't even think about doing their MBA at any other place given a choice. It's taken a lot of thinking to come up with my tentative list.

I'm off to Hyderabad for the weekend to catch up with friends. I'm beginning to face my indecisive best in the last few days. More on all this once I get back.

The journey begins

2007-06-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

The intent of this space was originally to display wonderful pictures. The lack of a camera and hence any wonderful pictures spurred me to change this into my chase to an MBA.

I'm here to keep track of my progress, make a few friends, meet the deadlines and keep it simple. Sometimes I really wish it were that simple.

When Dr. Cox(from Scrubs) was asked why he took up medicine as a career - he replied
"4 reasons - Chicks , Money , Power and .... Chicks." I wonder how an Adcom would respond to that given the fact that we're supposed to be completely honest.

Initial Shortlist of schools:

R1:

1. Columbia
2. Stanford
3. Wharton
4. Sloan, MIT.
5. Tepper, CMU.

Right now, I'm in the midst of losing myself between clicks of different pages of school websites.
Deep dive analysis into each school/deadlines etc. should follow soon in subsequent posts.

A quick call out to Iday, who has been the only MBA blogger I have followed closely. He has disappeared after getting his BOB award. Come back, we need you badly and thank you for all the superb posts.

I get back now to spending a beautiful Saturday afternoon in Bangalore city, staring at pixels that together blur into making my hazy mba dream a reality someday!!!!

Secret Worlds

2006-10-03T03:02:00.000-07:00

Reserved Space

2006-07-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

My Photo Blog. Starting soon.